Vote

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This is quite an important day in these United States: Election Day!

All I’ve got today is just a simple, small request: if you are registered to vote in the USA, please do so. Whichever way you vote, on a president or senator, a proposition or a school board member, it’s important that you take the time and participate. Democratic elections and the peaceful transfer of power are, straight up, an amazing thing. We’ve had it for a short time (in it’s current incarnation, as far as human history goes) and who knows how long we’ll have it (again, as far as human history goes). Don’t take it for granted! Vote!

That’s it! We got a pretty tense Time Cheetah page today (don’t blow your brains out, Cheetah!) and we’ll have the thrilling conclusion to this game of Stalin Roulette on Thursday!

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Job Quest

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God bless the internet.

I have been on a Job Quest. Recently, I found a positions to my liking and was about to apply. I had done the research, visited in person, and just completed a shiny new resume. I was feeling confident. 

But wait, your personal worth summary (resume) needs an introduction. I needed to write a cover letter. However, this application was being submitted to a national HR department and 'Dear National HR Department' is not the proper way to address a letter. I guess I'll just title it 'To whom it may concern'.

But a voice in my head, my guardian angel perhaps, said "Google that."

I googled some help on cover letters and there was one consensus: all people who title their cover letters 'To whom it may concern' are the scum of society. This was a faux pas so deadly it would blacklist me from any employment, ever, anywhere. I deleted the crime and contacted the offices for further details.

When in doubt, use the internet. If still in doubt, look at the newest page of Time Cheetah. That should set you at ease. 

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All Your Fanbase Are Belong To Us

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So, this weekend, a good friend of mine actually dressed up as Time Cheetah for Halloween! That in itself is amazing, but it also checks off an item on my Time Cheetah Fanbase Dream List. The list includes:

--See someone dressed up as Time Cheetah (done, son)

--Read a multi-part Time Cheetah fanfic where he's in High School and joins the goth kids and is best friends with the person who writes the fanfic (are goth kids still around? Who am I kidding, goths are eternal)

--Find a tumblr that retweets Time Cheetah x Rodriguez fanart, where they hold each other and make out and one of them has angel wings and shit (or devil wings, if you wanna get saucy)

–See a grown ass lady post a 20-minute Time Cheetah makeup tutorial (#fabulous)

--See people on a message board get into an actually impassioned argument about who can run faster, Time Cheetah or Sonic The Hedgehog (Answer: you are a nerd)

These are my dreams, and I know we have a long way to go and a fanbase to grow and cultivate... but the fact that I could cross one off the list this early makes me very happy.

Oh yeah! New Time Cheetah page! In this one, Colonel Bolshevik gloats like only he can!

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The Making of Stalin Island Part 2

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Time to take you back to the fall of 2013, when Edward Snowden leaked Paula Deen’s racist comments and Kanye West finally got engaged to the Star Trek alien he was dating (a Cardassian, for you non-Trekkies). You may recall from a previous post how my brother Alejandro and I had already come up with Stalin Island and the nefarious Stalin A.I. But we still needed a villain, someone who was calling the shots and could be revealed as the true bad guy.

We batted around some weird ideas: a resurrected cybernetic Che Guevara (Robo-Che!), a communist ape that had become super-smart after being launched off into space. Eventually, we settled on a generic sounding villain as a placeholder: Colonel Bolshevik. Could only be more stereotypical if he was called Captain Russia or General Communist, really.

Now we had to figure out: what the hell was he up to? Well, we still had lost Cosmonauts in the story… so we thought, maybe Bolshevik is trying to launch them back to space? Slowly, we realized the true timeline-altering answer: Bolshevik was gonna beat America to the moon! How? By launching the entirety of Mount Redmore into space. Naturally.

As the script took shape around this very silly idea, suddenly Colonel Bolshevik started feeling less like a typical villain and took on a personality of his own. A boisterous, gloating Russian dickhead with a crazy plan. The more we wrote him, the more we liked him. He was just a perfect foil to Time Cheetah and makes their inevitable showdown that much more satisfying.

For now, enjoy Colonel Bolshevik’s crazy plan and seeing Time Cheetah get smacked around a little. The tables will soon turn!

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